Thursday, February 10, 2011

How the UPS guy almost got a black eye.

With Valentine's Day coming up, Brent made reservations at an undisclosed location. He told me to dress up, and that's all the info I got. Well, I have no dressy shoes, thanks to a teething puppy, and no nice dresses, thanks to a year of poor finances. So I saw this as a perfect excuse to do some online shopping!

I went to Frederick's of Hollywood to look at some sexy lingerie, and also found a very chic dress. And a pair of shoes. And some earrings. I was very happy to do all of my shopping at one place. I was very excited for my package to arrive. However, before my package arrived, so did a present from Mother Nature.


She must really hate me this month because I've been confined to the couch all day with excruciating cramps and lower back pain. Not to mention this weird combination of hunger/queasiness. And tears. Lots of 'em. Oh yeah, and while I normally have very nice, clear skin, this month She decided I needed a few extra characteristics on my face. I did NOT feel like doing anything but watch anime all day. I sat on my couch with a rat nest of hair, a blotchy, puffy face, a bloated tummy, a Moosejaw t-shirt of Brent's, and his gigantic fleece Spongebob pants.

So all day today I eagerly awaited my package, and was getting very concerned and annoyed when 5:00 rolled around. FINALLY, he showed up. When I opened the door, there he stood with my package bearing a return address of a known lingerie company. And he blinked, almost WINCED at the sight of me. How DARE he!? He was visibly disappointed that I wasn't drop-dead gorgeous and wearing next to nothing. UGH! I fought back the urge to say "WHAT!?" and sic my dogs on him for being absolutely male and obnoxious.

On the plus side, my dress is awesome. The shoes are going back for sure. I should have read the description. They have a 5 inch heel that's like, pencil thin. I can barely walk a straight line in my converse. ;)